Living With Intention
Life can sometimes feel like a random accumulation of events that pulls us from one direction to another. With so many choices, options, and decisions to be made, we can often feel swept away in the rhythm of it all, as if we’re simply “going through the motions” on autopilot. We might also feel distracted or stuck in our lives, and can therefore have a hard time finding our own path connecting us with our sense of purpose. Amidst it all, how do we gain clarity when it comes to living with intention? To start figuring this out, discovering what you’d like to achieve in both the short-term and long-term is a great jumping-off point. Identifying attainable and realistic goals towards which you gravitate can help motivate you to begin to take steps to achieve them. We often feel removed from our goals when we are not operating from a place of inner connection, so it is really important to begin identifying those parts of yourself that make you feel the most “YOU.” Here are some brief questions to get you started when it comes to living with intention. Journaling about these topics can help you begin peeling back the layers that make you unique, and may reveal more of your authentic calling: What gets you excited when starting your day? What does a “good day” look like? When you dream about your future, what does it look like? What are you passionate about? If you could live life differently for one week, one month, or one year, what would it look like? What facets of your life bring you the most joy? What needs to be in place in order for you to suss out your calling and/or purpose? Your life is your own, and to some degree, you have the power to navigate the direction and course that it takes. Events and situations that are out of our control will occur, but so long as we connect with the people, places, and things that allow us to feel most grounded, we can learn how to cope with the ups and downs and challenges we all face. Setting a strong foundation for exploration can lead to growth and change in our lives. Living life from a genuine and authentic place often requires effort, but it is possible with the right amount of support, knowledge, and awareness....
Read MoreFinding Fulfillment
As everyone’s dreams, goals, and desires vary greatly, it is understood that the search for fulfillment will vary from person-to-person. In finding fulfillment, how do you approach a journey of self-discovery, and connect with your authentic voice, as the chapters of your life unfold? An important thing to realize, when it comes to finding fulfillment, is that learning, adaptability, and change are common themes. Fulfillment reveals itself at the hands of its creator, as his or her morals, values, and beliefs are exercised in a personally meaningful way. This can help to influence and shape the vision of what that individual aspires to achieve. What may be unhelpful in the quest for fulfillment is comparing yourself to others in a way that is detrimental to your well-being. A tendency to compare yourself to others shifts the focus away from yourself, which can make it increasingly difficult to tap into, and operate from, a place of authenticity. Comparing yourself to others may contribute to a feeling of lack of control of, and ownership in, your own life. Focusing too much on what other people might think about you can also serve as an avoidance mechanism when it comes to connecting with, embracing, and living out your own definitions of a fulfilling life. It is important to note that we all have unpleasant events that crop up in our lives, but that we can even find fulfillment in times of difficulty. We learn about ourselves within the contexts of our own lives; our stories form an ongoing narrative by which we learn who we are as people. And although joy is an emotion many of us want to experience when it comes to leading a fulfilling life, we might not know the depths of such joy had we not been exposed to some struggle and disappointment. Having varied experiences can allow us to appreciate the positive when it comes our way. Finding fulfillment can be approached as an ongoing, creative journey. It does not have to be completely defined in a quick snapshot: it can be approached as a process that allows room for growth and change on a personal level. The path each one of us chooses represents who we are on a multitude of levels: emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically, intellectually, and beyond. Our subjective and unique experiences, perceptions, and perspectives can inform our personal definitions of what finding fulfillment means to each of us. Thoughts, comments, or questions? Feel free to reach out and...
Read MoreA Recipe For Motivation
You know that pile of stuff you keep meaning to get through? That to-do list of items you keep meaning to tackle? That really important task you continue putting off, even though you know getting it done would be a step in the right direction, a great accomplishment, and would make you feel so much better in the long run? Yes, I’m talking about motivation. Creating and sustaining the momentum to remain motivated can be a really difficult task, but it’s not impossible! If you think about starting something, finding the effort within to initiate that first push can sometimes feel really overwhelming. But if you think about the concept of movement in-and-of itself, not only can it help you conceptualize reaching your goals, but it can also aid in reducing the sense of being overwhelmed. If you visualize sitting on a swing for a moment, what do you need to do in order to create movement? Exerting effort triggers movement in space, before the swinging motion can occur, and eventually becomes mostly self-sustaining. You won’t stop using your muscles over time, of course, as you would inevitably stop moving on the swing. Although those first few pushes can often feel the most difficult, you can move towards a phase of ease and enjoyment. Using your arms and legs to maintain this motion can feel easier over time, as you pushed yourself initially to do so – literally and figuratively. How about visualizing certain sports, like skiing or luge? A huge amount of physical effort is exerted before the momentum picks up, and eventually carries you towards the finish line. Again, you don’t stop the effort or cease paying attention to detail as you race along, but the speed you generate is created by your initial exertion. Given my background in ballet, I know that the same theory applies towards executing a series of turns. Pirouettes or fouettes (these are spinning movements for those who don’t know!) cannot be done without exerting energy and effort from the get-go to establish that initial push. Once that push happens, sustaining turns can become easier as they multiply, and can even feel liberating and freeing. My point is this: starting something – anything! – can often feel like it’s just too difficult. Once you’re able to move past the phase of the initial push, though, a task can actually feel pleasurable as you move forward in the process. You wind up proving to yourself that you can do it. The encouragement and validation you’ve created for yourself to keep going, and to keep it up, can be a self-sustaining motivation! Maintaining this momentum can often set the stage for you to attain more of your unique personal goals. Here is my “recipe” to help you tap into this process of getting, and staying, motivated! 1- Movement Create steps towards taking action, and tap into your initial push. Start moving! 2 – Momentum Try things out and exert effort to get the ball rolling. It might feel bumpy or rocky at first to find your own footing, but keep going with it to find your equilibrium! 3 – Maintenance Keep exerting effort at specific intervals so that functioning can feel like, and even become, a self-sustaining activity. You’re moving regularly now, you see action and results, and it can feel really enjoyable the more you stick with the process! 4 – Motivation Having proven to yourself that you can do it often leaves you with an enhanced sense of motivation. The satisfaction and success you feel can in turn accelerate your return to this process, which can...
Read MoreFacing Your Fear
We’ve all felt it – fear. It can do all kinds of things to us, impacting our thoughts and behaviors in uncomfortable ways. Fear is an emotional experience, and one that is universal. Most of us don’t enjoy the feeling of fear, because it often comes along with an increase in anxiety, stress, or anger. Fear can teach us a lot about ourselves, though … what we’re afraid of, what we’re seeking, what we’re ambitious about, what we’re lacking, and what we hope for. Instead of running away from our fears, we can actually benefit from taking a closer look at its origins. We can get to know ourselves better by examining our fears, thereby tapping into our own resilience. So, why do we feel fear? Fear is an emotion that arises when we experience a threat to our own personal safety, whether it be emotional or physical. Fear can be caused by a tangible trigger, or by a less-obvious thought that can sometimes be hard to pinpoint. Nonetheless, fear causes a heightened desire to protect ourselves, which can manifest in all sorts of ways: feeling like you want to hide or run away, feeling like you’re paralyzed or stuck, or feeling like you’re falling deep into “panic mode.” When these sorts of emotional patterns start taking shape, you might notice that you’re no longer living in the moment, and may find it difficult to be mindful of the present. An avoidance mechanism can develop, which takes you away from the very thing you may need to be proactively addressing for yourself. When you habitually notice yourself becoming consumed by a spiraling emotion, or a pattern that takes you outside of your current reality, this often serves as a signal that it’s time to take a pause and assess if something in your life needs to change. Just like all emotions, fear is transient. It comes and goes for all of us. Many of our fears are manifested in our thoughts, and learning how to take control of such thoughts is a process. Here are some suggestions that can serve as a springboard to help you get back on track when it comes to facing your fears: Acknowledge and accept that fear is present Learn to tolerate the presence of fear Identify and implement healthy coping tools to overcome the feeling of fear Move towards finding suitable and positive solutions The above recommendations are not necessarily a linear process, as everyone’s situation is very different. If you’d like more focused help with addressing your fears, working with a professionally trained therapist can be a safe, comfortable, positive outlet for self-discovery. Have any questions? Feel free to ask! ...
Read MoreA Blizzard of Ideas for Winter Self-Care
Well, we sure had a wake-up call – winter is definitely here in New York City! With just over two feet of snow that hit us over the weekend from Winter Storm Jonas, there’s no doubt that we’re well into the season. I hope everyone has had a safe experience during the blizzard, and the same goes for all of your friends and family. The blizzard definitely got me thinking about a flurry of ideas for self-care, which I wanted to share with everyone. What’s a New York City person to do when these sorts of snowstorms get cranking? Here are some ideas below: Winter Self-Care Tips Prioritize Safety – Of course, making sure your health and basic needs are met, as well as those of your loved ones, is high priority. Making sure you have all of the “essentials” necessary (i.e. food, backup heating, etc.) to cope with potential winter weather hazards is important. Plan an Indoor Activity Pre-Storm – Throw a “storm party,” which can encompass watching TV shows to excess, embracing movie marathons, playing board games, telling stories, or tapping into your creativity! Whether solo, with a loved one, or sharing with a group of friends or family, setting forth a plan of action is a healthy and positive step for coping with winter weather. Plan an Outdoor Activity Post-Storm – Once winter storms pass, it could be fun to tap into your “inner child.” If you’re up for it, you can try sledding, ice skating, or building a snowman! Simply taking in the breathtaking winter sights can also help relieve stress, by appreciating what nature has to offer. Reflect – Engage your senses to appreciate the value of your experience. If you cooked a wonderful meal during the storm, take a pause to appreciate how it tasted. If you took a picture of the snowfall, create time to absorb the beauty of how picturesque it looks. If you had a great laugh with friends over conversation, stop now to think about how that positive experience felt. Reflection can help us reinforce the wonderful times we’ve had, while setting us up for positive experiences in the future. What are your self-care ideas? Wishing everyone a great start to 2016, and a wonderful and enjoyable winter...
Read MoreHow to Beat Holiday Stress
The holidays are here, and this can be an uplifting and joyous time for many. At the same time, stress is often a common culprit during the holiday season. How do you create time and space to enjoy the holidays, without letting stress and anxiety get the best of you? Read on for some of my holiday stress-reduction tips below: 1) Plan time to see your loved ones – Scheduling time to stay connected with your loved ones, near and far, can be a surefire way to enjoy the holidays. Having support around you as the season commences can be empowering and reassuring. Attending holiday parties and gift-giving exchanges, no matter how large or small, can be an effective reinforcement of your appreciation for those that you love and care for. You can also meet and make some new connections, too! 2) Appreciate – Say thank you and express gratitude to those around you: to your coworker who makes you laugh, to that familiar face at the checkout counter, to the delivery person. You may not know everyone on a deep level, but acknowledging others and their acts of kindness can go a long way towards reinforcing your own sense of well-being, as well as your concern for others. 3) Make a list, and check it twice – Externalize all that you need to do by taking control of it as best as you can. The act of writing down projects and associated tasks is a healthy step in the right direction! 4) Take part in the season – Have fun with all that the season has to offer! There are wonderful holiday displays, places to window-shop, and plenty of sights to see during the holiday season. Watching holiday movies in the theater or at home are also fun ways to laugh, be merry, and de-stress. Grab a friend and hop to it! 5) Treat yourself – It’s the season for giving, so don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Getting enough sleep, exercise, and making time for yourself are all important regimens in managing stress and anxiety during the holiday season. Remaining mindful of healthy eating, doing some pleasurable reading, and taking up creative activities are also great reinforcers for self-care. Have a holiday tip you’d like to share? Comment below! Have a safe and happy holiday season, everyone!...
Read More
