Ballet Dancer: Two tips beyond the tips of your toes
If you are a ballet dancer, or if you’ve ever studied ballet, you know the feeling that comes over you when you’re up “en pointe,” and you feel as if the sky’s the limit. The energy swooshes up inside of you, and you’re pulled up, elevated, as poised as can be. You’re almost frozen in time … breaking free of earth’s gravity and ascending to greater heights. Whether you’re executing an endlessly lengthened, glorious arabesque, or you’ve managed to stay up on your toes long enough to perform a series of pirouettes and fouettes, that sensation of height, energy, and control is like no other. And of course, balance is one of the key elements that helped get you there! I see a lot of parallels between life and dance, probably because of my own history as a ballet dancer. I’ve learned that just as balance is crucial in dance, it is also vitally important in life. Every day is a balancing act! How do we achieve balance? In my work as a psychotherapist, when I’m in session with dancers, musicians, actors, and other types of artists, a theme regularly emerges: artists often struggle as they work tirelessly to perfect the artistic integrity of their craft. It is very easy to get caught up in that one piece, that one performance, and focus can significantly narrow to achieve a masterful outcome. This type of dedication, discipline, and concentration is required. It is a given, and necessary for artists. But what about the rest of your life? Balance is key. Balance is what can actually help you to excel artistically. Here are two tips that may help you achieve balance in other areas of your life, beyond the tips of your toes: 1. Pay attention to your relationships Be sure to maintain contact with your loved ones. It can be very easy to become isolated when you’re so hard at work on your artistic ventures. Try your best to maintain contact with at least one close friend or family member in your social support network on a daily basis, if possible, to prevent increased isolation and to combat potential depressive symptoms. I know, I know … schedules and rehearsing can all get a bit overwhelming, and it feels like there is no time for anything else. But with constant developments in social media and other forms of communications technology, there’s really no excuse to not be connected: our loved ones are closer to us than ever before, often just a click or tap away. Stay in touch with the outside world! 2. Increase your self-care efforts Burnout as a result of stress is common, and so is exhaustion. Don’t let it wipe you out! Instead, take control. Be sure to replenish yourself by getting enough sleep, and by eating healthy, balanced meals. Relaxation techniques, meditation, visualization, and breathing exercises can also help you to secure your equilibrium. If you’re experiencing physical pain, don’t let it go unchecked. We’re human, and injuries happen. Sometimes, we’re prone to rationalizing to ourselves instead of listening to our bodies, because we want to keep going out of fear that our role will be given away, or that another opportunity won’t arise for us in the future. Please don’t succumb to this thinking! It’s much better to figure out what is going on with your body than to push through and possibly do additional harm. Injuries are among the most common pitfalls in a dancer’s life, so please be sure to get any unusual aches and pains looked at closely by a doctor. Prevention is...
Read MoreMoving Forward: Past to Present
One of my favorite phrases is “moving forward.” Life is constantly changing, and it is important for us to change with it, moving from past to present. There is no pause button on the passage of time, which leaves us little choice but to continue moving forward. We need to adjust to the ebbs and flows and inevitable changes that take place in our lives, as swimming against these currents can lead to frustration, distress, pain, and burnout. It’s easy for us to get stuck in the past, and to ruminate over the things we could have, should have, or would have done differently. We worry about this stuff. We all make mistakes, and we all have our faults. Although it’s important to look at our own self-defeating patterns and personal shortcomings, we simultaneously need to evolve by using our unique positive strengths, to move forward in our lives. Here are four helpful steps to help you accomplish this: 1) Accepting Reality: Whether an issue is resolved or not, some people can still feel stuck in that experience. Exploring all of your options and trying your very best, though, is sometimes all you can do. Accept that it may be time to move forward and let things go if circumstances aren’t working out the way you hoped. Accept that perhaps you’ve changed, or certain situations may not be working for you anymore. And that is truly okay. Remember, you are in control of your own life. 2) Recognizing Your Emotions: I often tell people that if they do not look at their “negative” emotions closely, they will consequently boil, simmer, and erupt like a volcano. Nobody wants that! Or their emotions will be “shelved” for a while, and their compartmentalized feelings will become so heavy on that shelf, that this system of support will eventually collapse. Nobody wants to break, and nobody wants to hurt, but we’ve all been there. It’s a part of the human condition, and it’s universally uncomfortable. Moving forward often requires you to practice mindfulness in paying attention to your emotions, while understanding your triggers as well as your responses to these emotions, so that you can better manage your feelings and learn how to deal with them proactively. 3) Seeking New Outlets: If we look back at our pasts, we’ll be thrilled and ecstatic and joyous about some things, and sad, disappointed, or upset about others. Continuing to expose yourself to new experiences and meeting new people can promote growth, well-being, and learning, which also helps you move forward. 4) Coping Routines: Establishing a coping routine for yourself will help you move forward, as opposed to staying stuck in the past. Coping mechanisms differ for each one of us, so what may work for a friend of yours may not work for you. Identifying healthy routines, activities, and behaviors can definitely help propel you forward. My final thought on moving forward? Be true to...
Read MoreA Thoughtful Dance: Mind-Body Synchronization
There are so many facets that represent who we are as human beings: our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and everything in between. Like a well-oiled machine, our minds and bodies work in tandem to create a certain energy and flow, and these processes influence the ways we present ourselves to the world. Are you in tune with it all? Think about a live orchestra playing beautiful music. At first, it may sound uniform, like a harmonious blend of something singular. Just a single piece of music. But if we look further at this example, it becomes apparent that there are numerous components that comprise the whole of what we experience as being the music. The violins, flutes, cellos, harp, etc. The written piece of music, the notes on the page. The musicians themselves executing the delivery of the piece through their physical bodies, using their very own breath and fingertips to deliver the music to the audience. These individual systems fuse together to become one: they are parts of a whole system. If you’ve ever had the opportunity to see a live orchestra playing music, you can witness the physical evidence of mind-body synchronicity taking place. Serious musicians no doubt connect to their music, and literally feel its presence in their bodies. As an audience member, you can see their movements as proof of their relationship to the music. They may close their eyes in response to emotions the music evokes within them, or they may sway ever so slightly, or even dramatically, in their chairs. The conductor’s physical presence empowers the orchestra to play with utmost passion and precision. Their mental conceptualization, delivered via physical ability, results in non-verbal, emotional expression. Without these parts fusing together, the music you hear can’t be performed at its most transcendent. Elaborating further, let’s pretend that there are dancers who are going to perform to the live orchestra’s musical accompaniment. Without the support of the orchestra, the dancers will have a very difficult time performing the choreography of the piece. They need the orchestra to deliver their part by playing the music, so that they can then execute both a physical and emotional response in telling a story to the audience with their bodies. This interrelatedness is crucial to the performance, and highlights exactly how being in tune with the many systems within yourself, and perhaps even outside of yourself, can lead to a – dare I say it – a standing ovation. The end product is something to be proud of, and something to celebrate. I like to use this example of separate forms of expression coming together (music and dancing) to highlight how the blending of our mental, physical, and emotional selves is vital to the development of our well-being. Now, I’m not saying that you need to be a musician or dancer to understand the gist of this concept. What I’m highlighting here is that functioning at your very best, in any capacity, requires paying attention to the parts of yourself that comprise who you are, including mental, physical, and emotional aspects. For instance, if you ignore your ”physical” aspect and hardly ever exercise, you might be increasing your risk for heart disease or obesity. If you neglect your “mental” aspect, you might be left feeling bored, unchallenged, and stuck in a rut at work. If you brush aside your “emotional” aspect, you may notice that interpersonal issues are surfacing, and you might succumb more readily to negative moods and depression. Connecting with, utilizing, and paying attention to the facets that make us who we are, can assist in creating...
Read MoreReciprocity: Strengthening Your Support Network
Many of us have people in our lives who fulfill a particular function, and our healthiest relationships are based upon reciprocal and mutual satisfaction. For example, you may show love for a friend by sending her a surprise chocolate gift basket when you know she’s in the midst of a bad breakup. She may then reciprocate at a later juncture, perhaps by covering the bill on your next catch-up lunch date together. This example of reciprocal kindness can be a recipe for building a stronger bond, and thereby stronger support, with your friend. That’s not to say you need to buy gifts for others in order to strengthen your relationships with the individuals in your life. What I’m alluding to are various forms of expressions of kindness. These can be verbal courtesies (such as saying ‘please’ or ‘thank you,’ which many of us are often too rushed to say), which can truly go a long way when it comes to solidifying your network. How many times have you not said ‘thank you’ to the cashier or barista working the counter at your favorite coffee shop in the morning? If you’re not guilty, great! Keep it up. Because I bet that if you routinely express appreciation and kindness for others, then the people you see day-in and day-out will remember you. And within the context of that daily experience, you’ll have connected with someone who you’ve affected, no matter how minute the gesture may be. And maybe they will reciprocate in kind the next time they see you, in whatever fashion they choose that is unique to them. Maybe the barista will give you a larger cup of coffee on the house, because they appreciated that you remembered their name. Maybe the cashier will compliment your coat because they thought it was kind of you that you asked them how their day was going. The give-and-take nature of relationships should not be taken for granted. When any relationship becomes too one-sided, or insular, emotions such as resentment and anger can stew and simmer. If you notice that someone is a ‘giver’ and the other is a ‘taker,’ negative emotions are likely to surface, and potentially cause damage to the relationship. If you recognize this in any of your relationships, it is important to take time to reflect upon the dynamic occurring within the context of the relationship, and to make an effort to discuss your perspective with the individual. This can apply to all sorts of relationships: in the work environment, with family members, or in romantic relationships. A dynamic of balanced reciprocity is needed in order for the relationship to work in a healthy way. It is sometimes difficult to identify the people who you know you can count on, and who may qualify as your support network. I’d suggest maintaining awareness of your own behaviors, which can be a great starting point and reflective tool. You are a mirror to the world, and what you put out there is likely to be reflected back to you. You have the power to project your positive qualities to all those you encounter. People will notice if you do! One last tip: surround yourself with positive people and relationships. Begin identifying the people you admire, the people who inspire you, and the people who take a genuine interest in you. You never know … a small exchange of reciprocity can evolve into an interpersonal bond that can strengthen in a supportive way over...
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